i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
