idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
