He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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