And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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