she woke up with a sticky ear
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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