Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
