why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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