it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
