i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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