she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
