you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
