Yo dont text me then not text me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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