Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
