..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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