Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
