I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
