I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
