xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
