she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize