i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
