i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
