yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Randomize
