i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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