I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
