Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize