sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
