he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
birth control should be required to get into college
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
