i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
