No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
