oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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