yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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