Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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