He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
