Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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