i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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