come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
