Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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