I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
