Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize