so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
