Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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