Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Alive.
So much puke
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize