I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize