But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can I color on your dick again?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
