Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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