So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
