yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
