So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
