im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize