Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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