She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
