:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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