you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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