I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
