You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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