I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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