Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
