so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
