we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The best revenge is premature balding
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
