My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
