Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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